Tuesday I had my appointment at the hospital to get all the paper work and blood work done before going in for my D&C on Wednesday. They couldn't give me a time to come in so I went home and waited for a call. Barney and just got home from work when they called and said we needed to be at the hospital at 7am. Our hospital is about an hour away so there is no way we could drop Myles off at day care ourselves before going in. We made a quick decision to sleep at Barneys parents house as they are closer to the hospital and that way they could drop Myles off at day care in the morning for us. So we picked up dinner on the way and stayed at their house. Myles went to bed great but decided to party from 3-530am. I was already awake since 1am due to being anxious so we all didn't get much sleep. Thankfully Myles went back to sleep as we had to leave the house at 6am.
We arrived just before 7am and it was already so busy. We were called in around 730 to go over my paperwork. The nurse said we could either go back to the waiting room or she would find us a bed so we could sleep. Bed please! We were in the public hospital but because of our private health insurance, we were given our own room to wait in. I got the bed and Barney got a big recliner chair and we both fell asleep for a couple of hours. We ended up waiting until 12 noon before being called into theatre. This is when my stomach started to turn. I had been fine up until then but suddenly it was becoming so real. So I said goodbye to Barney and was wheeled into the room just outside the operating room. I met about 5 nurses, the doctor I had seen the day before and the anaesthesiologist. The nurse gave me my canular which hurt a lot and made me cry. I think between the pain of that and the rush of emotions, I just lost it. In this moment I just prayed and gave everything to God. It was out of my control. I managed to calm down and they gave me some happy drugs as they wheeled me into theatre. They asked me if it was feeling like I had a few champagnes and I said no, it felt like bourbon :) It is amazing how fast those things flow through you, it must have been about 30 seconds. I climbed on the operating bed and that is the last thing I remember.
I woke up in recovery where I was told I had lost a lot of blood so I wasn't allowed to go home and they were trying to find me a bed back in the ward. I ended up being in recovery for about 3 hours before a bed became available. They weren't expecting me to stay over night hence the bed problem. So I got wheeled down to the ward where Barney met me and brought me food! Probably the best sandwich I ever had since I had fasted since 9pm the night before. I sent him home and settled in for the night. I didn't get a private room but shared with 3 lovely ladies who were very quiet for the most part (one lady was having a "conversation" with her dog over the phone, all I could hear was the dog barking, at 1130 at night!). I slept quite well besides getting woken up for blood pressure tests a couple of times.
I woke up just before 7am and the doctor was in the room by 7:20 going over everything and telling me I could go home. I was really lucky as I had no cramping or pain and barely any bleeding. I know that a D&C has risks of damaging the uterus and may cause problems conceiving in the future, but I really couldn't imagine miscarrying naturally and potentially bleeding for up to 4 weeks and go through those emotions through that time.
I was discharged around 9am and Barneys parents came to pick me up and take me home.
While in hospital I was messaging family and friends back and forth and I can not say how appreciative I am for the support I have had. I can understand why women don't speak up about these things but I have really found comforting in letting it all out. And the more that it is out there, the more people you realize have gone through the same thing. While it is not something I really want to have in common with people for any of us, it is nice to know I am not alone.
I must just also say that the hospital staff were absolutely fantastic. Every nurse, doctor or whoever I met was so caring and supportive. They were always quick to off help and get anything to make me feel more comfortable. The nurse I had in recovery had me laughing so hard and the nurse that took care of me this morning and last night was incredible (thanks Bianca!). She helped me shower, get dressed and do everything as I was still light headed and hooked to my IV. I have so much admiration for medical staff. They work long hours dealing with tough situations every day and they do it with a smile on their face. I know that not all staff are like that and I have heard stories of horrible medical staff but I am glad I never experienced that.
All in all, I think with all things considered, I had a really positive experience in a crappy situation. I feel like because everything has gone so well and I have had amazing support that I have been able to grieve and heal properly. I have to allow my body to recuperate for a couple months then we can start trying again. I am praying I have had no damage and that next time we will have our rainbow baby.
God is good.
1 comment:
I found it very helpful to write and talk about my miscarriage too. And, like you, I had not announced the pregnancy en mass yet, which I was thankful for too. I never had to awkwardly tell someone I was no longer pregnant.
I am glad you are now able to heal and look forward. I think you are incredibly brave for going through what you did -- I hate hospitals! Praying that your uterus heals completely and that a rainbow baby is in your future!
I love you guys.
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